Grocery Shopping

 Grocery Shopping

Well it’s like this. I got down to the unenviable task of cleaning the supplies cupboard this weekend (now you feel the pain?) and was absolutely baffled at the quantity stashed in. Rather shamefacedly, I observed duplicate and triplicates of pasta packets, noodles, instant desserts, tons of biscuits and what-nots! What was I thinking?! Why or How did i end up buying this much.... 

Hey I am not alone here! This is what happens when I go to the super market for grocery shopping.

You go to buy a single bar of soap, there are no singles on the shelf! Only 3 or more! You want 100 ml olive oil, you get a 1+1 litre and do what? Get a full body tel-malish (oil massage)  Talcum powder? Buy one, get three free – 500 gms each, go dunk yourself in it! Oh wait pack it as return gift for those boring birthdays 

Washing soap? Buy 2 kgs and get 1 ltr cleaning liquid free. Wash all your laundry and your neighbor’s too! 

You want a 250 gms of frozen peas? It’s your lucky day – Offer is Buy 1 kg, Get 1 kg free….Peas all the way,  potato with peas, beans with peas and even chai with peas.  

Super-markets stock and display only the bigger versions of everything. Boy oh boy! Can I get just what I want and no more? Of course not! Take it or leave it, that’s the way it works. Playing pscyhological tricks with me huh... 

But wait a sec! No one is complaining about this. Am I noticing it just now or are the shopping trolleys getting just bigger and bigger?

All around I see gleeful mommies loading humongous trolleys with provisions and supplies enough to cater to a mini-army for the next 6 months, with their kids surreptitiously adding contraband junk-food to the loot. But of course she’s just on her bi-monthly visit to replenish stores, keeping an eye out for the contents of the neighboring trolley, you never know what you might have missed! Remember the goal, your trolley should always be an inch heavier than your neighbor's. 

At the billing counter, the cashier is tirelessly scanning and billing the endless stream of purchase. Billing queues of bored husbands trying to pass their time browsing on their smartphones while keeping a steady watch on the slow-moving line. And just as the man is revoking the jaw that had dropped on seeing the bill and returning his credit card to his wallet, the wife reaches him with kid in tow, look what i found 'the eggless mayo!’ she declares jubilantly. But woe betide one who’s had his turn and is now trespassing on the rules of a queue.

‘Thou shalt have to go back to end of queue even if thou hast only one item.’

So the man goes back to the end of the line, rather like the video-game character, who goes back to square one and starts his journey all over again. Meanwhile, the Mrs has no qualms and gainfully employs her time browsing aisles missed on her previous sojourn.

You gotta hand it to the geniuses who framed the BOGO – Buy One, Get One Free offers! What can be better for the Indian shopper ingrained with the bargain-hunting genes? Oh there are the Buy 2, Get 1 free, Buy 3, Get 7 free offers too but nothing draws the hardcore shopper more than the Flat 50% off or of course the BOGO offer! Like ants drawn to sugar, we flock, loot and grab such offers

Possibly hypothetical, but I think a vast majority of us are plagued by a fear of running out on food and supplies, thus the need to stock and hoard! 

Actually when you buy large quantities of perishables and your consumption is low, the product lies around longer in your shelf/ refrigerator. The products you purchase are mostly available cheap because they belong to an old stock. So you end up consuming less nutritive and potentially harmful stuff.

In case of consumer-durables, it makes sense at times to buy in bulk if it is cheaper. But that is precisely the sales ploy. Inventory older than 3-6 months is pushed forward in the form offers. Typically sub-standard products/ knockoffs parading higher M.R.P’s are made attractive by BOGO offers.

My cupboards are inundated by extra helpings of soaps, deosprays, gigantic containers of shampoo and talcum powder, cartons of laundry detergents, oils, snacks and well, generally everything. Folks at home groan with boredom –  Why can’t I try that new shampoo brand? Oh, because I have 2 huge bottles of this one to see through

 ‘Do I have to gulp oats every single morning?’ sighs my eight year old. 

Well you have no choice until that 2 kg barrel is emptied. As if this is not enough, My cleaner pitches in, ‘Madam, the floor cleaner you bought, is just colored water. Don’t blame me if your floor isn’t getting cleaned!’ What can I say? Hmm, BOGO made me do it!

Enough of this! I am going back to my neighborhood kirana-dukaan (grocery store) the uncle still remembers my name and has seen me since i was a 4 year old child. 

To get precisely what I want and just as much as I want. Just one bar of soap, 50 ml of hair-oil, 100 gms of talcum powder, one tube of toothpaste, 100 gms of lentil, 50 gms of mustard seeds, 25 gms of cashew nuts (Yes! You can actually buy that little)….you get the drift?

Takes orders over the phone, offers home delivery in less than 30 minutes. He gets whole wheat cleaned, sifted and ground to flour of the right grade – not too fine, while remembering to blend in soya and millet – just the way I ordered it.

If he doesn’t have a particular item I read off the list I’ve made, he ensures he gets it from the neighboring store. For instance, if I need freshly ground filter coffee, he’ll get it for me from the neighboring Anna’s store. And guess what? He doesn’t mind if I don’t pay right away (I am a credit worthy customer, cool ain’t it?), accepts payment through mobile wallet and throws in a free bunch of cilantro with every delivery! You can’t get more personalized service, can you?

So as we progress on the fast-paced, efficient escalator to supermarket stores and online grocery shopping, I am stepping off that course and walking back to the simple grocery store that I left behind. Sadly I might be a bit late, many small retailers are shutting shops, courtesy – competition from large wholesale supermarkets and online websites.

Maybe, we have a long way to go back from where we started....

Nandini Mithun 

Invisible Me

 Invisible Me

It first hit me a couple of years ago when I was at a store, waiting patiently for my turn to be served. And well, my turn never came. Others kept barging in, getting the attention of the sales staff, getting what they wanted. While I waited, until I quietly had had quite enough of waiting, turned around, walked out unnoticed, unstopped and realised it had finally happened. I had become that dreaded creature, the invisible woman.

I had seen the signs over the past few years. Heads no longer turned when I walked past, even when I was dressed to the teeth. People did not stop conversations to accommodate me when I approached their little groups at parties but carried on, regardless. I found myself stopping short of doing cartwheels and headstands in restaurants to get a waiter’s attention.

 

It is kind of deflating to the ego. You know that there was a time when you put half the time into getting ready and could guarantee heads on rotor blades as you passed. The compliments are now few and far between. You have folks walking right past you without even registering you exist. In the rush for elevators, you are jostled aside when previously you would be courteously given right of way.

What has changed, you ask yourself? In your head, you are still the same, give or take a few wrinkles and some grey hair with some dark circles But something has definitely changed for the world around. one’s mid thirties, it is like a giant switch gets switched off and a woman morphs into some sort of translucency that makes her there but not quite there. The mirror isn’t so kind either. The midriff develops a mind of its own and that stubborn bulge which normally took a couple of weeks of sensible eating and working out to whittle back into normalcy, stays put. 

The hair that you took for granted and abused in persistent unspeakable manner by using many variety of natural shampoos, 

 gives you a cheeky middle finger and begins dropping right from your crown into the abyss of forgotten youth, leaving you with a scalp that shines through no matter what you do. The wrinkles refuse to fade after you stop smiling. The neck is stretched, the skin grows reptilian. You age. You become invisible.

Let me not pretend it does not affect one, it does, But once you cross that dark zone and emerge blinking, into the bright light of realisation, you know that there are many pros to being invisible.

It liberates you in some ways. There is a sense of freedom to be able to go anywhere and know that no eyes are on you. Sometimes you can walk right past people and they won’t even register your presence, which is wonderful when you want to make a quick exit or avoid some dementors who are capable of tap dancing on your last standing nerve. You can go out in track pants and a faded tee and not give a damn because you know that the blot you present on the public landscape is going to be an offense to no one but yourself. You can listen in to conversations because most people don’t even realise you are around, and speak unhindered.

Most reports say that when a woman hits her mid-thirties she starts becoming invisible. Now dont ask me which report, i might have just randomly said that. 

I’m bang on target. I assume it gets worse as the years creep up on me. I’m ready and waiting. Being fly on the wall is always much more fun than being in the thick of conversation to me. And yes, I realise this is the perfect age for me to actually seriously contemplate my lifelong ambition of being a spy. I have my own invisible powers now, who knows i maybe your next BOND

Nandini Mithun 

Priviliged

 Privileges of a Homemaker 

What? And you thought I’d be talking about groceries and masks?! Get a life! Or rather, I should get a life!

Stock up on sanitiser and handwash. Take a new bottle everytime you go out. – Check

Read a zillion news articles and social media posts on Corona – Check

Panic. Post on other groups– Check

Transition from calling it Corona to COVID-19 as it sounds more professional, although you are not a medical professional – Check

Celebrate graduation from Whatsapp University ((Hons.) Elective – Gyan Absorber. What? The alternative was Gyan Dispenser) – Check

Swear to be more productive and pour out your new found enthusiasm into whipping up a cup of dalgona until your arm is ready to fall off. Post pic on family cooking groups– Check

Attempt to bake some homemade extra cheese buns just because everyone else seems to be doing it. – Check

Repeat because you forgot to post it on the family groups. – Check

Vow to lose all that weight gained from chugging the dolgonas and stuffing yourself with above mentioned buns. Download apps such as Cure.Fit – Check

Mental health is equally important they said. So download meditation apps such as Headspace – Check

Try and do some art. Imagine I am female version of Raja Ravi Varma or Picasso Post pic on social media with #quarantineandchill – Check

Download Zoom and spend the next 30 minutes saying various versions of, “Can you hear me?”, “Can you see me?” “I can/cannot hear you”, “I can/cannot see you.” to various people. Take a screenshot and – you got it – post pic on social media – Check

Finish Netflix and discuss about the series with friends– Check

Sit and ponder about life passing away – Check

Daydream about stepping out, and, if you are particularly ambitious – even about a cherished trip, like  going to the washroom without my children – Check

Try to hold on to your sanity as you help your child with online classes. Take a look at the stunted tree and the duck with a bizarrely deformed head with just one hair that she has drawn and come to the conclusion that yes artistic talent must be carried over in one’s genes(like her father, sshh don't tell him) 

– Check

Bug the husband for some time pass until he runs out of answers or starts to ignore my questions – Check

Start a YouTube channel – Check

Wait for lockdown to end so that you can go back to your routine, the highlight of which was to shove the husband and offsprings out the door by sharp 7 and 8 AM, wave them a fond goodbye from the window and then go and….smoke pot? No! Watch 50 Shades Of Grey? Nah! Although if you ever witness the enthusiasm and eagerness with which I send them off, perhaps you might be forgiven for the suspicion.

In reality, simply go about my rather mundane household chores without the constant chattering of a precocious Kindergartner and her a 3rd grader and the hundred other interruptions that come with having more than one person in the house. – Check!

Am i not privileged??

Nandini Mithun 

Healed

 Manisha Koirala

I recently completed reading the book Healed by Manisha Koirala.This is my first ever book about an actress struggle. I liked the fact how she has bared it all and has mentioned each and every struggle and how she wqs finally triumphant. 

 She had a turning point in life when she was diagnosed and treated for cancer. The curious me wanted to know more about her journey and hence watched her  inspiring TED Talk.

For most of us that grew up in the 90s, Manisha Koirala is a name that evokes memories of our most watched films of childhood like 1942 a love story, Criminal etc. 

In 2012 it was reported that she had been diagnosed with cancer. She later flew to USA for treatment. She has now been cancer free for about 5 years. In 2017 she delivered a Tedx Talk which was titled ‘How To Find Meaning When Reality Hits You’. That is exactly what she set out to do in her life. She opens her talk with a well-known quote – “Life is what hits you when you are busy making other plans!” Something that held so true for her. And for so many of us too in our respective lives. A life that is so lunpredictable and delicate and yet has so much to offer if only we embrace it.

She spoke of how about 20-25 years ago she was living a life which many dreamt of. She had wanted to be at the top of her game. All the way from Nepal she worked hard to become one of the most successful and popular actresses. With more than 70 films in 5 languages and many awards she certainly did so. She admits that her work consisted of some quality and a lot of quantity. What resonated in that sentence to me as a viewer was ‘How many of us are actually living lives that are measured more in quantity than quality?’  I am not sure when or how to reach there. 

She spoke of having more than she had ever thought of and then slowly started to lose it all. Subtle changes like signing a bad film, which flopped, a bad review and it went on. However she spoke of being unfazed by this feeling she could bounce back but in her own words ‘that didn’t really happen’.

An unhealthy lifestyle which attracted wrong company led her from one bad relationship to another all the while being in denial. Soon after her marriage broke, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.

Her cancer experiences were not just about losing of hair and looking sick (as most people think about celebrities) but of the nature where she had to sign waivers that she may suffer permanent heart damage or that her hand would shake for the rest of her life. She admitted that was the moment when she got really scared that she may die

 At that point she thought – if she had lived well and was proud of it, and the answer to that was ‘Of course NOT’. I guess for most of us the answer would be a big NO. 

That’s when she made a promise to herself about how she would live her life and spoke of 4 gifts –

 *Health* 

How important it is to look after one’s health and nurture it, to inquire and read and do whatever it takes to have good health. A realization that came to her while in bed with cancer.

 *Relationships* 

Working on the relationship with family, and ensuring it’s filled with trust and respect as they were the only people, she said, that stuck by her from beginning to end. Also ensuring that the friends we have in our lives add to it in substance and not mere number. She mentioned having an entourage of friends earlier, to a handful now, with whom she shares a deeper bond.

 *Work* 

One needs to grow as the person they are, and choose the work they do carefully and from the heart. After all, it has to add to one’s sense of being, not take away anything from it.

 *Service and contribution* 

She spoke of an incident: while she was in the hospital and not too many people were visiting her, a lady doctor from Cornell Hospital in New York, Dr. Navneet Narula, would spend her days with her on Sundays.

Manisha was curious as to why the lady was spending time sitting in her room when she was clearly busy. She said that you are not my friend from the past or my fan for sure so why would you sit here? To which the doctor replied, “With the hope that you will do this for somebody else.”

Something that seems so simple yet has such a profound impact and a lasting effect. As that is the moment, she says, she made a promise to herself that if she were to get a second chance at life she would be of service in any capacity that she could.

She is today actively involved in social work, specifically working with organisations to promote women’s rights, prevention of violence against women, and also towards prevention of human trafficking of Nepali girls for prostitution. She also gives motivational talks on various topics at various schools, hospitals and multinational organisations and is truly using her celebrity status to do good.

One, that life and everything that comes with it is truly a gift. The body is a gift. People who cross our paths are a gift.

Two, introspecting to discover our truth and live our truth. We need to find for ourselves what motivates us to live a great life in order to live with passion and clarity.

Three, life will always surprise us and throw things at us for which we are not completely prepared.

But we do have a choice. We can either be consumed by it, let it get bigger than us and be defined by it or we can turn it around into a platform for our growth. For there is a message under every problem we face.

“We can take the worst situation of our lives and turn it into a narrative of triumph. The wisdom and courage is all within us.”

Lukka Chuppi

 Song From Rang De Basanti........

I was listening to this song Lukka Chhuppi from Rang De Basanti(on the radio yesterday)

I was listening to this song and i cant describe the sinking feeling that came over me while i absorbed the song. I did watch the movie and i do know that the song features when her mother loses her son who is in airforce, but i was quite caught up in the movie when i watched it anyways, so it only now that I appreciate the song for what it is.

It is a mother singing to her son as though they are playing hide and seek. Only she is alive and he is dead. She searches for him. calling out that dusk is falling and her eyes are growing dim with age.

The son responds by describing this paradise he is in.... and how he is perfectly happy there and the only thing is he missing her....its a content response to her sad cry of despair.

The lyrics gave me goosebumps.... and my eyes were moist aswell. The son describes the place he is in and how adorable it is, with fresh air and cool breeze. Finally he says it has everything but not you(to his mother). 

Beautiful, touching, creative.... I could go on..... But you need to hear and appreciate. It grows on you.

Okay... Go listen to the song....it's beautiful... the lyrics, the music, the voice, the emotion behind it.

Above all this song makes you yearn for your mother in ways unknown to you....

Nandini Mithun

Be Kind

 Always be kinder than necessary. No one has ever made themselves strong by showing how small someone else is. What you send out, comes back.

 What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you. Remember, Life is an echo. It always gets back to you. Never forget to treat others as you wish to be treated.

Nandini Mithun 

Simplify

 A simple life gives birth to more clarity, inner peace and meaningful relationships.

 When you simplify your life, you will be able to see the life much better because with a simple life you get rid of the obstacles that prevents your horizons. Returning to a simpler way allows us to regain our dignity, puts us in touch with the land, and makes us value human contact again.

Nandini Mithun 

Positivity

 Positivity is a connection in itself. Positive thoughts connect people at a different level. It is a connection that makes one feel motivated and inspired not only to bring change to one’s life but also to spread that motivation further. So many times we come across people who we have never met but their words immediately connect with us.

 We feel their words deep within and no matter what state of mind we might be before listening to them, we end up being motivated and start to see positivity in our life. We all have this power, through our words, thoughts and intentions. We all can make a difference in each other’s lives.

Nandini Mithun 

God

 I do believe in God. I do pray. But in my own way, much to the chagrin of those who expect others to believe in their beliefs. But, doesn’t that go against the very definition of faith? It has to be personal, it cannot be generalized. Fortunately, most understand and there is a mutual respect for each other’s ideologies when it comes to Almighty.

Over the years, I have sincerely endeavored to make myself more aware about religion and the rationale behind different thought processes. This has taught me and also made me more accepting, more appreciative and certainly more considerate towards conflicting beliefs. What I have come to recognise is that ultimately it is all about establishing that “connection” with the Supreme. 

Sometimes, it can happen within the confines of the bedroom. Sometimes, it can happen because of the aura of a holy shrine. Sometimes, it can happen in the lap of nature. And sometimes, one may not feel the need to establish that connection at all.

To me, devotion has never been about pleasing God. God is not the destination. Had it been so, atheists would have gone astray which is not true in any way. God is the means. God is the path through which I find strength to introspect, to submit, to find peace and to bare my soul and just be ME

 Tap the reservoir within which lies dormant at times due to the daily grind of life. The last time I had felt so deeply lost in sublime reverence was at  Temple in India. The temple was thronged with devotees, yet there was no pushing around or attempts to get in the way of others. Because, each one present there had surrendered to the divine power inside them. I could feel the spiritual connection. I felt vulnerable. I felt powerful. I met myself – my raw and unmasked self.

I emerged out of the temple, a tad bit more grounded and humbled....

Maybe one day when i leave the temple called My Body, i feel the same. 

Nandini Mithun

Just Add Magic

 Just Add Magic

Life and its idiosyncrasies loosen our connection with the curious child within us. We start associating magic with fantasy, and forget that magic is actually very much a part of our everyday lives.

I have a child who believes in the magic of magic. She thinks there is actually a treasure at the end of the rainbow, and that in some corner of the earth, there must be a fairyland which no one knows about.

She is almost 8-year-old now and the pragmatic me used to try to tell her to come out of this 

imaginary magical world. “There is no magic in reality,” I insisted every so often during my conversations with her.

I could see a flash of disappointment and anger cross her face whenever I said so.

A few months ago, while we were having lunch, she grumbled about the taste of yoghurt that day and requested me to feed her. I sensed this could just be an excuse for getting fed by me and I happily obliged. The moment she took a spoonful in her mouth, she exclaimed.

“The curd now tastes delicious, Mumma! How did this happen?”

“Well! That’s Mother’s Magic,” I instinctively quipped, amused.

“See! I told you magic exists. It is everywhere Mumma!” she tried to convince me.

I was zapped for a moment. That day I realised that I need to stop telling my daughter that magic does not exist. Why was I trying to curb her beautiful perspective of finding magic in the world around her, I wondered?

I pondered for a moment.

Nature enthralls us in myriad ways. It fascinates us. It leaves us spellbound. Its gigs and acts can leave us gaping in awe, if only we can pause and pay keen attention. Be it the birth of a child or a sprouting of a plant; be it the vibrant rainbow or the changing colours of a chameleon – there’s boundless magic everywhere. It doesn’t even need a wand or a potion

And then there are humans who touch your life with their magic. Some people create magic with their art. Some captivate you with the goodness of their heart. Some spread magic by deeds which leave you amazed and mesmerized.

I am yet to be that magical person.

More than anything else, like my daughter perfectly puts it, we need to stop assuming that what we know everything.

If we allow ourselves to get surprised, there are multifarious magical moments or phenomenon that go beyond explanations, clarifications or reasoning. We just need to feel it.

My daughter has opened my eyes to look at the concept of magic from a different vantage point. I don’t laugh at or dismiss her talk related to magic anymore. So, when she spots magic in milk turning into curd, or curdling to paneer, I smile. Because there is indeed Magic, 

Just Add Magic 

Nandini Mithun

They will fly

We would like our kids to learn things and become independent, but at the same time, we don’t want them to grow up too fast, and slip through our fingers too early!

“Mom, I will do it myself. Don’t help me,” she repeated assertively.

“No, but…”.

Before I could debate any further, she exclaimed in an unparalleled state of excitement.

” I did it, Mom! I did it all by myself.” 

She had indeed done it. My 3-year-old had donned her night suit all by herself with zilch assistance from me and it was a huge accomplishment for her evidently. But, why was I not able to match the ecstasy and feeling of contentment of my little one? Why was my heart sinking as if I was being pulled away from a string that I was desperately trying to cling to?

 I hugged her tight and told, dont grow up yet. 

But yesterday you said that you want me to grow up soon so that I can clean my bum on my own after pooping.”

Hearing this retort from my daughter totally left me in splits. I couldn’t stop laughing because I was actually guilty of making that comment the previous day when I was bone-tired. But, even though unintended humour had transformed the mood of the moment, realisation had already hit me hard.

It hit me that with every milestone, my child is taking a giant leap towards independence. It hit me that the clock is ticking rapidly and she is growing up fast; too fast for my liking. It hit me that this phase will never come back and I may be having little time remaining to make the most of it.

Caught up in the daily grind of our lives, at times we forget to pause and savour the seemingly quotidian moments. And more often than not, it is our children who remind us inadvertently to breathe, reflect and soak it up to the fullest.

All this impels me to puzzle over the conundrum that is parenting. I randomly keep swinging between conflicting thoughts and oft-times end up contradicting my own statements.

But, therein lies the beauty of this role I guess. Because, the more experience I gain as a parent, the more I realise how much is left to be discovered about it. The more I understand parenting, the more I recognise what I don’t understand about it. It’s indeterminate, yet so defined. It’s simple, yet so perplexing. It drains and fulfills. It agitates as well as soothes.

And while I am all emotional as I end this piece, my daughter is next to me asking why is the star so high in the sky, why am i not able to touch.... 

I raise my brows, but realise i should answer and hug her. 

Nandini Mithun

Feelings

 Feelings are irrational. They are like two-year-olds. Are the feelings even yours in the first place? You walk by a street and 100 feelings will pop in your head, how many of them are yours? How many of them actually serve any purpose? Feelings come and go. Do not have a clean bowel movement someday and see how all your feelings change. Watch your feelings from one hand distance and pick them as you please and not let them pick you.

Do not take any decision when you are very happy/excited or are very sad/angry. As high emotions cloud our judgment. A happy person will be more open than he should be, and a sad person would be more closed up than he should be.

You can do all you possibly can and yet things will not turn around the way they should. This is because of two reasons: either you are limited or other people involved.

If you have done all you could possibly do, and still things don’t turn out the way they do, it is not your fault.

Everyone dies. All material reality is impermanent. Be open to change and get out of your comfort zone. Make bolder decisions, make better decisions

While making any decision keep ‘the why’ clear, so when the hard situations storm your mind, you can stay anchored.

Find your highest possible truth and make your decisions in line with them

Do not do to others what you do not want to be done upon yourself. An eye for an eye and soon the whole world will be blind. See God in all. Act through the God within you.

Trust the universe, God or consciousness, they only mean good for you.

There’s no shame in asking for help, ask people for better advice.

The impermanent has no reality; reality lies in the eternal

Nandini Mithun 

Sister In Law

 Sister In Law

Having a sister-in-law can be a blessing if we outgrow the stereotype that women can’t be friends. She can be your greatest support as you enter the new household after marriage.

The sister-in-law is perhaps the most important woman in your married life. It’s a known stereotype that women in the husband’s family can make or break your life. The possibilities of them being the villains in your story is high. Hence, you despise or dread them.

Or, so the movies and stories have portrayed consistently. These representations have pushed us into narrow mindsets. But, it’s high time we change it.

By the time we marry, it’s crucial that we are mature enough to leave behind our acquired stereotypical thoughts about the new relationships we enter. Marriage is not about just marrying your partner. It is also about becoming a part of each other’s family.

The best relationship a woman can have with a person from her husband’s family would be her sister-in-law. Wait, are you astonished ?

It is understandable because for generations together we have been made to believe the relationship between a woman and her sister-in-law is something like that of cat and rat. But we fail to see that they can build a much needed strong friendship

Entering a relationship with prejudices makes sure that the relationship won’t sustain. So, keep them aside. Give your sister-in-law a fair chance. Look back at your friendships with other women – how did they begin?

You might have given those women chances to become your friends. It’s that simple. Do the same with your sister-in-law as well.  If you both vibe well, then it will become the greatest friendship in your married life

You might have had a fight with your husband or mother-in-law. When you make friends with your sister-in-law, she will lift up your mood. You can vent in front of her, and she will go to the extent of standing up to the entire family when needed.

She can be your partner-in-crime when you want to try something new and interesting. She can be the company you need during shopping. You can share fashion opinions and girl talks. You can always rely on her to be there for you.

Friendship is a two-way street. You sister-in-law will begin to look up to you, and rely on you. She might have been closer to her brother, but now, she might come to you with her problems. She will want your opinion on everything that’s happening in her life.

This relationship forged with trust and sharing will become a support system for both of you. This friendship might be the talk of the family. It might even make your husband a little jealous. But, he’ll be happy to see a healthy and fun friendship between the two women he loves.

we don’t let it happen because we are often unable to let go of what the world has conditioned us to believe. It is essential that we become aware and stop bringing prejudices to our relationships. Being open can give us a very happy friendship with our sister-in-law.

Lets not miss out on the beautiful friendship listening to the myths and streotypes.

Nandini Mithun 

Opinion

 We all have our own opinions about life. The difference in opinions can sometimes cause differences between people. At times, these differences can turn into an argument. Arguments lead to nothing but leave heavy feeling in everyone’s heart. If you find yourself in a heated up situation, always try to put it at ease. Instead of a useless argument, turn it into a meaningful conversation.

 You can do it by showing your recognition for other person’s opinion. Don’t turn the difference in opinions into hurtful arguments rather utilize it as a learning experience because you are getting to know a perspective you never thought about.

Nandini Mithun 

Prayers

 Prayers are a deep connection. A connection that brings us closer to our deeper purest self. When we pray, we  strengthen our inner energies. We start to focus on the positivity of our life and with that positive mindset we create an aura full of joy, hope and possibility. People who pray become so positive that not only they attract positivity but they will also spread all around them. So you can feel that special vibe and tend to trust them more. The power of prayers is available for everyone. Keep believing and keep praying. Praying can do wonders.

Nandini Mithun 

Words

 Words are one of the most powerful way of communicating with each other. Words of encouragement can motivate a person while words that discourage can break a person. If words have so much power, we must be very thoughtful not only what we say but also the way we say it.

 Often people can end up being misunderstood when they don’t use their words appropriately. Before you speak out your words, feel them for yourself. Only let those words out, the ones which feel gentle to yourself.

Nandini Mithun 

Chaos of Life

 In the chaos of life, we are getting more and more disconnected with ourselves. When we are too involved in the complexities of life that we unable to spend time ourselves, our mind becomes easily agitated. We start to get anxious and begin to overthink about every little thing. Being connected with our inner self gives us mental and emotional strength and a sense of self trust to handle any situation big or small.

 Spend some peaceful time with yourself every day and connect with your soul. It will bring more clarity to your mind and calm you in any situation of life.

Nandini Mithun 

A relationship

 A relationship is a feeling of closeness and this closeness comes from the quality time spent together. When people are in any relationship, there is always a expectation from each other. For some, this expectation becomes materialistic and they look for happiness through exchange of materialistic things.

 Such expectations only add to the complexities and most of the times lead to emptiness in a relationship. It is really the simple things that really bring closeness in a relationship. The deep conversations, moments of laughter, presence of each other and a life explored together add more value to a relationship.

Nandini Mithun 

Whole world

 There is a whole world within us but yet we feel empty from within. Many times we wonder where that happiness is, the love and contentment. People who have gained materialistic achievements are not happy and so are those who aim to achieve something. There are people who want to find love and there are those who have fallen in love but still feel unloved

. The reason we never feel the satisfaction is because everything is within us, yet we are always seeking it in the world around us.

Nandini Mithun 

There are People

 There are people who knowingly don’t help others because they feel that everyone should go through that tough time, what they have been through. They are reluctant to share their lessons of life because they don’t want to lessen other people's hardships.

 If you have been through a tough time in your life, you can well understand the pain and sufferings of those who are in that situation. Have empathy and compassion for people. If you have found a direction in life, a way through your situations, always share your experiences. 

Nandini Mithun 

Fear

 The best way to release your fear is to feel and experience it— surrender to the fear and stop fighting it. Just sit with your fear and actually try to melt into it. When you do, something amazing will happen: Your fear will vanish. But remember that fear is nothing more than a feeling—it isn’t real.

Never run away from your fears; always run toward them. The place where your greatest fears live is also the place where your greatest growth lies. And since the purpose of human life is all about growth, embrace the glorious opportunity fear presents

Nandini Mithun 

Let go of anger

 You are still standing on the shore of suffering and anger.

Why don’t you leave this shore, and go to the other shore— the shore of non-anger, peace, and liberation? It’s much more pleasant there. Why do you have to spend several hours, one evening, or even days suffering in anger?

 There is a boat you can use to cross very quickly to the other shore. That boat is the practice of returning to ourselves, through mindful breathing, so that we can look deeply at our suffering, anger, and depression and smile at them. Doing this, we overcome our pain and cross over to the other shore.

Don’t stay on this shore and continue to be the victim of your anger. Non-anger is in you; non-anger is possible. Just cross the river and go to the other shore, the shore of non-anger. It is cool, pleasant, and refreshing there. Don’t allow yourself to be tyrannized by your anger. Free yourself, liberated

Anger

 We have to be there for our anger, we have to recognize its presence and take good care of it. In psychotherapy this is called “getting in touch with our anger.”It is wonderful and very important. You have to recognize and embrace anger when it manifests instead of suppressing it.

But the important question here is who is the one getting in touch with, taking care of, and recognizing anger? Anger is an energy, and if that energy is overwhelming, you can be a victim of it. 

You should be able to generate another kind of energy that can recognize and take care of the anger. Anger is a zone of energy that needs to be touched, that needs to be recognized. 

The question is, what is touching what? What energy can do the touching and the recognizing? It is the en-ergy of mindfulness. So every time we get angry, we practice mindful breathing and mindful walking, in order to touch the seed of mindfulness and generate the energy of mindfulness in us.

Nandini Mithun 

If we could

 If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, we would treat each other differently. Be present. Be kind. Compliment people. Magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses. Be the person that makes others feel special. There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.

Nandini Mithun 

Drop of water

 If water falls on a hot pan, instantly it gets burnt;When water falls on a lotus leaf,the lotus becomes more beautiful with the dancing of a dew drop of water,but with a little breeze water disppears.But if the same water falls on an oyster,it takes that one drop and converts it into a pearl.

The qualities one acquires depend on the quality of the person with whom one associates. The same analogy can be applied to the moral lessons and quotes that are dinned into our ears day in and day out.

For some people ,listening to the teachings is like water falling on a dosa pan.As you listen it disappears.If you are filled with anger,jealousy, hatred,and distress your mind is like a dosa pan and teachings of Gita or any other valuable lesson,which is really like beautiful water drop, falls and disappears instantly.

A little more evolved person is like lotus. He shines for some time.The moment he goes home

from the lecture hall or deviates his mind from moral lessons,he is totally disturbed by surroundings and the lesson flies away in air.

But if you are like an oyster,retain the water( morals) and absorb,the water itself gets converted into pearl.At that time moral and the person are not two 

different entities and they become one and the same

Nandini Mithun 

Things while praying

 Important things to do while praying.

Set aside a few minutes everyday for prayer. Do not say anything. Simply practise thinking about God. This will make your mind spiritually more receptive.

2 – Then pray orally, using simple, natural words. Tell God anything that is on your mind. Do not think, you must use stereotyped pious phases. Talk to God in your own language. He understands it.

3 – Pray, as you go about the business of the day, while travelling or at your work. Utilise minute prayers by closing your eyes to shut out the world and concentrating briefly on God’s presence. The more you do this everyday, the nearer you will feel God’s presence.

4 – Do not always ask when you pray, but instead affirm that God’s blessings are being given and spend most of your prayers giving thanks.

5 – Pray with the belief that sincere prayers can reach out and surround your loved ones with God’s love and protection.

Never use a negative thought in a prayer. Only positive thoughts get results.

7 – Always express willingness to accept God’s will. Ask for what you want, but be willing to take what God gives you. It may be better than what you ask for !

8 – Practise the attitude of putting everything in God’s hands. Ask for the ability to do your best and to leave the results confidently to God.

9 – Pray for people whom you do not like or who have mistreated you. Resentment is blockade number one of spiritual power.

10 – Make a list of people for whom to pray. The more you pray for other people, especially those not connected with you, the more prayer results will come back to you.

Nandini Mithun 

Are we really health conscious

 Why is it that, as a society, we pay so much attention to our health and yet we know so little about achieving a healthy life? We read article after article in magazines. There are mountains of books and television shows devoted to improving our health; we are obsessed with health and fitness. Yet if we look carefully, psychology tells us that we are not attuned to our health at all. On the contrary, motivation and behavior often stand directly in the way of achieving the good health we seek. We need to try a more mindful approach, one that doesn’t accept the limits we place on our health

Nandini Mithun 

Tale of Two Birds

 Tale of two birds

Two birds, bound together in close friendship, live in a tree. One lives amongst the lower branches while the other, a dazzling golden bird, perches high up at the very top of the tree.

Let us call the lower bird 'bird 1' and the other 'bird 2'

'Bird 1' keeps busy all day long, hopping from branch to branch, pecking and eating the fruits of the tree with relish. In trying to find the sweet fruits, it tastes many sour ones.

The bird 2 has no interest in eating any of the fruits of the tree. It sits silently just watching the lower bird.

Once, the 'bird 1' tastes a very bitter fruit. It shirks away and stops eating. It looks up and sees the peaceful and luminous bird 2. The bird 1 is attracted by it and begins to hop up the branches.

Just then, it notices an especially nice-looking fruit and stops to peck at it. It finds it surprisingly sweet and tasty! “The bird 2 can wait,” it thinks. So, it continues to hop from branch to branch, tasting the fruits of the tree.

Every now and then, put off by the taste of an unsavoury fruit, it stops and looks upwards at bird 2, admiring its stillness and peace. It starts to hop up toward it only to be tempted by yet another luscious, sweet fruit.

One day, the 'bird 1' eats a particularly tart fruit. Totally put off by the taste and tired of chasing after sweet fruits, it becomes determined to reach the higher bird.

It rises up the tree toward the bird 2, staying focussed and carefully avoiding the tempting sweet fruits along the way.

Soon, a surprising thing begins to happen—the lower bird 'bird 1' begins to take on the qualities of the brilliant bird 2.

When it is very near tbird 2, it is irresistibly drawn to it. Finally, the 'bird 1' merges to become the bird 2.

There it realises that it was never separate from the bird 2 as there really was no 'bird 1' . It was all an illusion, like a dream that fades away upon waking up.

The l'bird 1' was essentially the radiant and serene bird 2 all along.--Mandukyopanishad.

A whatsapp forward

 The temple was built on an island and it had a thousand bells fashioned by the finest craftsmen in the world. When the wind blew or a storm raged, all the bells would peal out in a symphony.

But over the centuries the island sank into the ocean and, with it, the temple bells. An 

ancient legend said that the bells still rang out ceaselessly, and could be heard by anyone 

who would listen. Inspired by the legend a young man travelled thousands of miles, 

determined to hear those bells. He sat for days on the shore facing the vanished island 

and listened with all his might. But all he heard was the sound of the sea. He made every 

effort to block it out but to no avail; the sound of the sea seemed to flood the world.

He kept at his task for weeks. Each time he got disheartened he would listen to the 

village pundits as they spoke with unction of the mysterious legend. Then his heart would 

be inflamed.., only to become discouraged when weeks of further efforts yielded no 

results.

Finally he decided to give up the attempt. Perhaps he was not destined to listen to the 

bells. Perhaps the legend was not true. It was his final day, and he went to the shore to 

say goodbye to the sea and the sky and the wind and the coconut trees. He lay on the 

sand, and for the first time, listened to the sound of the sea.

Soon he was so lost in the sound that he was barely conscious of himself, so deep was 

the silence the sound produced.

In the depth of that silence, he heard it I The tinkle of a tiny bell followed by another, 

and another and another... till every one of the thousand temple bells was pealing out in 

harmony, and his heart was rapt in joyous ecstasy.

Do you wish to hear the temple bells? Listen to the sound of the sea. 

Do you wish to catch a glimpse of God? Look intently at creation.

If Covid has taught me anything at all...it is the LIFE in this breath of fresh air that can fill the lungs.

Freewill, Yes Or No

 Though they say that we are gifted with a freewill to perform our own actions with body, mind and intellect,some totally deny the concept and argue that our free will also is predetermined and comes under destiny.

The description of the scope of Law of Karma is reflected in Bhagavatgita.The actions that are performed without attachment with the requisite equanimity do not get carried into so called encryptions.A similar view is expressed in Buddhism too.

Intentions are essentially important in determining the moral quality of the action and the doer.Sometimes an action which is done with bad intention may result in bringing about good.Irrespective of the result the imprint of 'immoral' is passed on.

Similarly actions done with right intentions sometimes result in some harm to some one.

What essentially matters is the attitude and dispositions of the individual and not the actual act.This view cannot escape criticism.

It indirectly means that one could do the most undesirable act provided his intentions and dispositions are good.This creates a wedge between the Law of Karma and rules of Justice in the nation.

Many people don't believe in theory of Karma passed through different births though they agree that we reap what we sow.

There are people who have firm views that it is not the absolute requirement of the soul to repay the debts of previous janmas.They believe that the ideas of reward , punishment etc are human concepts unnecessarily imposed on cosmos .When some crisis arises and it is stated to be an impact of what one had done in previous birth,a feeling of guilt descends on man, and in the same way at the time of good events, a feeling of subtle expectation of 'reward' arises.This in turn takes us away from the present.

In reality our life revolves around three factors.

1.Deeds done by our own selves.

2.Influence of deeds done by third parties human or otherwise

3.Influence of destiny or luck.

We do not live entirely by Free Will nor we totally are influenced by Fate or Destiny.

Fate plays its own dice on the checker board of our existence, mostly as a balancing force.However with sustained effort we can wade through vagories of nature.By surrendering ourselves to God we build up strength to endure what cannot be cured and on total surrender ,there is no Free will and God's will is your desired option.

It is interesting to note that normally human being is the highest in respect of spiritual evolution since he has the capability of reasoning. But Ashoka is stated to have been born as a maggot for a few hrs before he attained salvation.This aspect is acceded to by many since as a human being we are subject to lust and other instincts thereby increasing the scope of karma, whereas the chances of committing sins by worms are almost nil.

Those people call themselves as having done only punyas can be expected to take birth as worms before they become one with God.

There are too many concepts and we can have our own.Better not to worry too much about types of Karma and their influence ,love yourself and all others without harming anyone. Let us relax.

Nandini Mithun 

Story of Pandavas

 Once the four Pandavas (except Yudhishthira who was not present) asked Krishna, What is Kali Yuga?

Krishna smiled and said "Let me demonstrate to you, the situation of Kaliyuga." He took a bow and four arrows and shot them in four directions and ordered the four Pandavas to go and bring them back.

Each of the four Pandavas went in the four different directions to search for the arrows.

When Arjuna picked an arrow, he heard a very sweet voice. He turned around and saw a cuckoo singing in a spellbinding voice but was also eating flesh of a live rabbit which was in great pain. Arjuna was very surprised to see such a gory act by such a divine bird he left the place immediately.

Bhima picked arrow from a place, where five wells were situated. The four wells were surrounding a single well. The four wells were overflowing with very sweet water as if they were not able to hold water and surprisingly the well in the middle of these four overflowing wells was completely empty. Bhima was also puzzled at this sight.

Nakula was returning to the place after picking up the arrow. He stopped at a place where a cow was about to give birth. After giving birth the cow started licking the calf but continued to lick it even after the calf was clean. With great difficulty people were able to separate them and by that time the calf was injured badly. Nakula was puzzled by the behaviour of such a calm animal.

Sahadeva picked arrow which fell near a mountain and saw a big boulder falling. The boulder was crushing the rocks and big trees on its way down, but the same boulder was stopped by a small plant. Sahadeva was also amazed at this sight.

All the Pandavas asked the meaning of these incidents. Krishna smiled and started explaining...

"In Kaliyuga, the priests will have very sweet voice and will also have great knowledge but they will exploit devotees the same way cuckoo was doing with rabbit.

In Kaliyuga poor will live among rich, those rich will have enormous amount of wealth which will actually overflow but they will not offer a single penny to the poor same as the four wells didn't have a single drop of water for the empty well.

In Kaliyuga parents will love their children so much that their love will actually spoil them and will destroy their lives similar to the love shown by cow to her newborn calf.

In Kaliyuga people will fall in terms of character like the boulder from the mountain and they will not be stopped by anyone at the end only the name of God will be able to hold them from doom like the little plant held the boulder from further fall.

Reflection

 Just as a mirror exists inside and outside the image reflected in it, so the Supreme Self exists inside and outside this body. The mirror exists. The reflection in the mirror is only an appearance. The reflection arises only if an object is brought before the mirror. If the object is withdrawn, the reflection no longer appears. Still the mirror remains. Similarly, the Self alone exists. The body, the mind, the senses, etc of the seeker and all objects of the relative world are only reflections of the Self and are sourced in IT. When the Self seeks to withdraw the objects of the relative world, they do no longer exist. They disappear into the Self.

Nandini Mithun 

Gratitude

 Gratitude is a popular topic in both the wellness industry and in spiritual circles. But is gratitude just another passing trend, or something you can really hang your hat on? It’s definitely the latter. Science proves that practicing gratitude can help to improve your health and your happiness. Here’s why.

What is gratitude?

Simply put, gratitude is all about acknowledging the positive people, experiences, and/or things in your life, and saying “Thank you!” for them.

In other words, gratitude is a two-step process. First you become aware of the positivity in your life. Then, you feel appreciative for them.

general, our minds are hardwired to look for and focus on the negative. From an evolutionary standpoint, this is what helped humans survive over the millennia. But this negativity can get out of hand, and it definitely isn’t serving us anymore.

When we focus on what we don’t like, what we don’t have, and what we don’t want, it fuels discontent, unhappiness and disappointment. It makes us blind to what we do like, what we do have, what we do want.

By practicing gratitude, you can start to retrain the brain to see life as half-full, rather than half-empty; as positive, rather than negative; as abundant, rather than lacking.

when you feel gratitude, you increase two feel-good neurotransmitters, dopamine and serotonin. These, in turn, can uplift not only your mood, but also your health.

If it’s hard for you to come up with things to be grateful for, don’t be hard on yourself.

Your mind is a powerful thing, and after years, and even decades, of focusing on the negative stuff in your life, it can be hard to break this thought pattern overnight.

However, if you take little steps every day to acknowledge and focus on the positive, your brain will slowly get the hint, and start to look for positivity, too.

So, when it feels like there is absolutely nothing to say thank you for, just remember, old habits die hard.

But more importantly, they do die out if we actively replace them with a new habit! And writing down things you’re grateful for is a great place to start.

It’s easy to take what we have for granted, so much so, that we don’t even think it’s worth being grateful for. So, imagine that everything you have is taken away.

What would you miss the most? That thing you miss the most can be something to be grateful for right now.

Maybe it’s the latte you always get on your way to work. Maybe it’s your long, beautiful hair.

Maybe it’s your favorite nighttime facial serum. It doesn’t really matter what it is. It just has to be something you really would hate being without - this is something to be grateful for.

if you’re grateful for your partner, try not to say, “I’m grateful for so-and-so.” Instead, say, “I’m grateful for (name) because (your reason why).” This not only helps you acknowledge what you’re grateful for, but why you’re grateful in the first place.

Go with a gratitude theme. Start with relationships.

For example, what can you be grateful for when it comes to your romantic relationship? What about your other friendships, familial relationships, or colleagues? What are you grateful for when it comes to yourself?

How about your possessions - what do you have that you feel thankful for?

What about the world? Yes, the world can be a big category, but start small.

What is it, about your local community that you love? Then, expend to your region, state, country, or any other place in the world that inspires you.

Nandini Mithun 

SHE

 Memories of her smile whisper in my heart

Like a musical note that pitches high

Around the silent walls of a cavernous chamber

Like wisps of smoke they drift by

She did have a sound of laughter

Not musical but full of gay

But as the lighter moments distanced out

The unique note floated away

She had dreams, oh yes she had

Not to reach the sky or the star

Just to walk a path trodden by none

To face the world as an equal at par

Her heart held stories untold

Her strides bound to reach the skyline

The earth did not spin for her, but

Seemed to voice together her chime

Every day was full of meaning

Every moment (lived) for its worth

She seemed to find a purpose

For every bloom and her birth

Where is she now I wonder?

Haven’t met her in a while

“Lost”, a tiny voice whispers

“Gone on a (self-)imposed exile”

“But why?”, I ask bemused

“Did dragons block her harbor?”

“What could have stopped her?”

“Were arrows stuck in her armour?”

And then I got the answer

As I got a glimpse of ‘She’

The indolent and torpid figure in the mirror

Smiling back at me.

Positive Portrayal

 Positive portrayals of women’s relationships in media are rare, and often collapse under the weight of stereotypes, at a time when we need more supportive sisterhoods.

Women relationships tend to be stereotyped, typically in a negative light in the media. Sisters, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, co-sisters-in-law, best friends end up fighting for the same man. There is almost a universal perverse pleasure in watching these relationships burn to cinders.

There are very few positive portrayals of women relationships not marred by great tragedy. Even they seem to collapse under the weight of their own stereotypes. And, there’s this need to add commentary on as many feminist issues as possible. 

There seems to be this underlying competition we’re all engaged in constantly – the competition for approval and protection by (male dominated) society.

For women, community tends to be confined to boundaries of our relatives. It is heavily defined by societal rules. Even those who work don’t have the time or the space to nurture their relationships with their peers the way men do.

There’s always an overarching societal construct  that defines how they spend their time

Best friends from our youth get swallowed up within their own relationships and families Women are conditioned to think about their decisions within the confines of their relationships

Often, it takes weeks of work to even acknowledge what it is that they really want. As women, I think that’s a gift we need to give each other. 

We need the sisterhood. More so as we grow older. We are our own people. In order to never forget that, we need a safe space to express ourselves. We need our tribe.

Nandini Mithun 

What Next

 What is the next step

A lot of us would have celebrated a quiet end of 2020 with the hope that 2021 will bring back a fraction of normalcy, or at least what we thought was normal before the pandemic

However as we sit on the second wave today, the reality looks grim, looks scary and if I look at India, it is as if the country is on fire. I wanted to use a more hopeful phrase here, but the images that I have been seeing the past couple of weeks and the news that I am hearing, leaves me with no option and shatters my heart.

As we struggle to keep our selves alive and our loved ones alive, we may want it or not, it is leaving us with lessons which one could never imbibe otherwise

A country whose undercurrent has been differences and division, is now united – individuals from every class, caste and religion are together in their fight – fight to be able to breathe. In these absolutely surreal times when we are struggling for ‘oxygen’, if ever a hypothetical ‘godman’ declares that demolishing all places of worship (temples/ mosques/ churches etc) would free the country of it’s misery, I see no doubt in my mind that the entire nation would stand united on this.

The carnage brought about by the virus sees no class, creed and kind. And since this fire has reached almost all our homes, we would all come out of it with a very important lesson – if ever there is a ‘God’ he/she/it does not see or impose differences too.

In any case, the numbers of infected are so huge, that the services provided are just not enough. Nonetheless, bad times have always proved that humanity does surface.

Where we once lived in a global community where our family and friends were just a drive away or a flight away, in times of need or celebration, one could always be with family no matter what their global location.

The pandemic has changed that completely. These are times where the ones physically close to us (in the same city and now probably in the same locality!) are the ones who are going to be with us – to share our grief or to share the few happy moments, which we might have amidst all this chaos.

Once all this is behind us, unfortunately with all the lives it has taken with it, it will leave the rest of us with the ability to know where our actual priorities should lie.

 We might be more compassionate towards people who have it lesser than us and we would relate to the miseries which are not ours.

We might probably value a simpler life with the joys of actually being happy (and not the happiness which money can buy) with people who make us happy.

We might probably value our environment and Mother Earth and everything in it more, because we would have seen up close what it means when hell breaks lose.

Nandini Mithun

Read

 Read

For stay-at-home women, there is judgement when it comes to everything. But break these shackles! Read what you want

My challenge is not that big.

But, this leisure activity has always been food for my soul and mind. This is what makes me feel alive and also leaves me with regrets. Reading a good book is like an addiction- until you finish reading it, you can not sit peacefully. There were so many times when I couldn’t focus on important matters while reading an interesting book. And there were times when I have been made to feel that there is no point in reading fiction or someone’s imagination. I have been told that, after all, it is a total waste of time that will not give me any money at the end of the day.

Quite often, I have tried to justify for my own sake that reading good books is not a waste of time and argued with others in anticipation of winning my arguments

We live in a society that is always judging us. I am also the part of this society and do the same with others. After all, I am also human

my point is that we have brackets for everything.

When you are working and can afford to read a book, not just monetarily but investment the time too, you become a role model. But if you are jobless or non-working and pursue a good hobby, it is seen as a waste of time. Instead of giving leisure to you, it fills you with guilt and regret and makes you realise that it might be the only reason for you being a failure. It could make you feel bad because you don’t earn money, contribute to the economy and thus, your existence doesn’t matter.

When I was a child, I was told to focus on the academic books as they will help me have a better future. I was told not to waste time on books or movies. When I started working, I hardly had the time or energy to read a book. But now that I am not working and I want to spend my time creatively, I am told to pursue something that adds value to my education and my future. Pursue a passion which will earn me money.

Should passion necessarily lead to earn money, is this the only thing that matters....

why should I not see the world from the eyes of Shakespeare or Rabindranath Tagore

Literature has not originated simply from the seed of someone’s imagination. It has been the mirror of our contemporary society and thrives only because of some readers like me who challenge the society to pursue this ambition.

Though this is the irony of our society that a good reader and a good listener or good audience is not highly celebrated yet. Maybe one day we would be able to see a category for the ‘Best Audience Award and who knows i may walk away with one of them. 

Until then, let me keep quenching my thirst of reading books, books and more of them.

Nandini Mithun