Priviliged

 Privileges of a Homemaker 

What? And you thought I’d be talking about groceries and masks?! Get a life! Or rather, I should get a life!

Stock up on sanitiser and handwash. Take a new bottle everytime you go out. – Check

Read a zillion news articles and social media posts on Corona – Check

Panic. Post on other groups– Check

Transition from calling it Corona to COVID-19 as it sounds more professional, although you are not a medical professional – Check

Celebrate graduation from Whatsapp University ((Hons.) Elective – Gyan Absorber. What? The alternative was Gyan Dispenser) – Check

Swear to be more productive and pour out your new found enthusiasm into whipping up a cup of dalgona until your arm is ready to fall off. Post pic on family cooking groups– Check

Attempt to bake some homemade extra cheese buns just because everyone else seems to be doing it. – Check

Repeat because you forgot to post it on the family groups. – Check

Vow to lose all that weight gained from chugging the dolgonas and stuffing yourself with above mentioned buns. Download apps such as Cure.Fit – Check

Mental health is equally important they said. So download meditation apps such as Headspace – Check

Try and do some art. Imagine I am female version of Raja Ravi Varma or Picasso Post pic on social media with #quarantineandchill – Check

Download Zoom and spend the next 30 minutes saying various versions of, “Can you hear me?”, “Can you see me?” “I can/cannot hear you”, “I can/cannot see you.” to various people. Take a screenshot and – you got it – post pic on social media – Check

Finish Netflix and discuss about the series with friends– Check

Sit and ponder about life passing away – Check

Daydream about stepping out, and, if you are particularly ambitious – even about a cherished trip, like  going to the washroom without my children – Check

Try to hold on to your sanity as you help your child with online classes. Take a look at the stunted tree and the duck with a bizarrely deformed head with just one hair that she has drawn and come to the conclusion that yes artistic talent must be carried over in one’s genes(like her father, sshh don't tell him) 

– Check

Bug the husband for some time pass until he runs out of answers or starts to ignore my questions – Check

Start a YouTube channel – Check

Wait for lockdown to end so that you can go back to your routine, the highlight of which was to shove the husband and offsprings out the door by sharp 7 and 8 AM, wave them a fond goodbye from the window and then go and….smoke pot? No! Watch 50 Shades Of Grey? Nah! Although if you ever witness the enthusiasm and eagerness with which I send them off, perhaps you might be forgiven for the suspicion.

In reality, simply go about my rather mundane household chores without the constant chattering of a precocious Kindergartner and her a 3rd grader and the hundred other interruptions that come with having more than one person in the house. – Check!

Am i not privileged??

Nandini Mithun