Healed

 Manisha Koirala

I recently completed reading the book Healed by Manisha Koirala.This is my first ever book about an actress struggle. I liked the fact how she has bared it all and has mentioned each and every struggle and how she wqs finally triumphant. 

 She had a turning point in life when she was diagnosed and treated for cancer. The curious me wanted to know more about her journey and hence watched her  inspiring TED Talk.

For most of us that grew up in the 90s, Manisha Koirala is a name that evokes memories of our most watched films of childhood like 1942 a love story, Criminal etc. 

In 2012 it was reported that she had been diagnosed with cancer. She later flew to USA for treatment. She has now been cancer free for about 5 years. In 2017 she delivered a Tedx Talk which was titled ‘How To Find Meaning When Reality Hits You’. That is exactly what she set out to do in her life. She opens her talk with a well-known quote – “Life is what hits you when you are busy making other plans!” Something that held so true for her. And for so many of us too in our respective lives. A life that is so lunpredictable and delicate and yet has so much to offer if only we embrace it.

She spoke of how about 20-25 years ago she was living a life which many dreamt of. She had wanted to be at the top of her game. All the way from Nepal she worked hard to become one of the most successful and popular actresses. With more than 70 films in 5 languages and many awards she certainly did so. She admits that her work consisted of some quality and a lot of quantity. What resonated in that sentence to me as a viewer was ‘How many of us are actually living lives that are measured more in quantity than quality?’  I am not sure when or how to reach there. 

She spoke of having more than she had ever thought of and then slowly started to lose it all. Subtle changes like signing a bad film, which flopped, a bad review and it went on. However she spoke of being unfazed by this feeling she could bounce back but in her own words ‘that didn’t really happen’.

An unhealthy lifestyle which attracted wrong company led her from one bad relationship to another all the while being in denial. Soon after her marriage broke, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.

Her cancer experiences were not just about losing of hair and looking sick (as most people think about celebrities) but of the nature where she had to sign waivers that she may suffer permanent heart damage or that her hand would shake for the rest of her life. She admitted that was the moment when she got really scared that she may die

 At that point she thought – if she had lived well and was proud of it, and the answer to that was ‘Of course NOT’. I guess for most of us the answer would be a big NO. 

That’s when she made a promise to herself about how she would live her life and spoke of 4 gifts –

 *Health* 

How important it is to look after one’s health and nurture it, to inquire and read and do whatever it takes to have good health. A realization that came to her while in bed with cancer.

 *Relationships* 

Working on the relationship with family, and ensuring it’s filled with trust and respect as they were the only people, she said, that stuck by her from beginning to end. Also ensuring that the friends we have in our lives add to it in substance and not mere number. She mentioned having an entourage of friends earlier, to a handful now, with whom she shares a deeper bond.

 *Work* 

One needs to grow as the person they are, and choose the work they do carefully and from the heart. After all, it has to add to one’s sense of being, not take away anything from it.

 *Service and contribution* 

She spoke of an incident: while she was in the hospital and not too many people were visiting her, a lady doctor from Cornell Hospital in New York, Dr. Navneet Narula, would spend her days with her on Sundays.

Manisha was curious as to why the lady was spending time sitting in her room when she was clearly busy. She said that you are not my friend from the past or my fan for sure so why would you sit here? To which the doctor replied, “With the hope that you will do this for somebody else.”

Something that seems so simple yet has such a profound impact and a lasting effect. As that is the moment, she says, she made a promise to herself that if she were to get a second chance at life she would be of service in any capacity that she could.

She is today actively involved in social work, specifically working with organisations to promote women’s rights, prevention of violence against women, and also towards prevention of human trafficking of Nepali girls for prostitution. She also gives motivational talks on various topics at various schools, hospitals and multinational organisations and is truly using her celebrity status to do good.

One, that life and everything that comes with it is truly a gift. The body is a gift. People who cross our paths are a gift.

Two, introspecting to discover our truth and live our truth. We need to find for ourselves what motivates us to live a great life in order to live with passion and clarity.

Three, life will always surprise us and throw things at us for which we are not completely prepared.

But we do have a choice. We can either be consumed by it, let it get bigger than us and be defined by it or we can turn it around into a platform for our growth. For there is a message under every problem we face.

“We can take the worst situation of our lives and turn it into a narrative of triumph. The wisdom and courage is all within us.”