Super Woman

 SuperWoman

Superwoman’ is a creation of selfish societies, essentially meant to keep the patriarchy engines running smoothly and in exchange they gave her the title, Guilt drove women to take on more load to prove themselves for fear of being shamed, while becoming keepers of homes and societies.

Did we raise the bar ourselves or walk unwittingly into the trap letting the world decide how we ought to look, behave and do? Whether size zero, or 34-36-34 figure suits best, or 4″stilettos even if they made ankles bleed to “look a million dollars” every time you stepped out to the grocer’s, PTA or party as if a woman’s worth lay in the right shade of pink lipstick or beeswax.

Stop multitasking through your identities and roles to become the ‘ideal’ daughters, wives, mothers, homemakers/career women for the cheers and claps that fall your way, because there’s more to you.

Excellence is fine, but perfection can  be obsessive, so forgive  yourself for the burnt rotis, leaky faucets or missed deadlines…exhale! Smell your coffee, in my case it's a cuppa chai…order a  meal, watch your favourite movie, enjoy a game, don’t let a lousy meal or bad appraisal become the validation of your existence.

Listen to your body Physical and mental wellness are equally important aspects for a fulfilling life, but sadly women refuse to acknowledge mental problems fearing social castigation.

Learning to open up and seek help with therapy, healing, meditation, yoga, taking up hobbies while engaging in meaningful relationships and friendship are some ways to address them.

Time to debunk the stereotype and wear your age, skin and scars with pride. Don’t let the Twitter or Instagram ‘likes’ decide your self worth and no matter what they say 40’s can never get to be the new 20’s, it’s just a glib ad liner, in case you thought so.

Don’t let the world set the terms and conditions for your life while standing  up for your principles or values.

At the end you get to keep your dignity and that’s no mean task, so compromise is not a good idea.

Drop out of that rat race, competition is meaningful and purposeful only if it’s about improving you and not with comparisons.

Unfortunately, as kids we’re taught otherwise, and were unhappy every time time we lost out. We thought that success lay in beating everyone else by all means fair or foul. By the time we realise the futility of it all, three quarters of our life is over.

Excellence doesn’t lie in the genes… so don’t punish yourself if your kids aren’t good with grades and stuff that you did. Skill, competence and abilities aren’t hereditary or genetically transmitted, but acquired with hard work and determination.

Teach your kids to be appreciative of what they already have, because try as much as you can, you never get to be more pretty, cook better or more talented than Kiara or Karan’s mom, as children can be pretty hard in their comparisons with their peers.

Stop trying to please them with all what your money can buy, instead teach them to respect and value what they have while helping them  to set realistic goals in life

Nandini Mithun