To my daughters

 Things for my daughters

 There are various things that as a mother i want to teach my 2 daughters because like every mother i want my children to turn out happy and peaceful.

First and foremost i want to tell my daughters that there are no prince charming  for a damsel in distress coming to save and she needs to fight her own battles.

Do not fairytale brainwash your daughters and fill their minds with unrealistic idea of a Prince Charming or a knight in armour. Instead tell them the stories of those women of your family, who have survived a lot inspite of all the odds, these are the stories that your daughters need to hear.

If possible take your daughters to them and let them converse with them.

If she grows up waiting for a man to rescue her of her miseries, she will find it difficult to look for strength within her to deal with her issues. It’s also very likely that she will grow up professionally looking for a mentor to do the rescuing at work.

Teach them about finance and how to deal with it, because this is one important aspect of life. 

Give her a chance to explore what she really likes, and exhibit a little courage as a parent to let her be different from the societal notions of what a girl ‘should’ and ‘should not’ like. 

Parents, more so Indian parents(only thing i know) want their daughters to get settled, which in many ways lead to one thing, getting married.... 

Refrain from portraying marriage as something she ‘must’ engage in when she grows up. Let her dabble with the concepts around commitment and loyalty on her own, however you be her guiding light always. 

Tell her she has to grow up to be her own person and has to stand on her own feet. It is not correct to wait for a ‘husband’ to come along and support. 

If you teach your daughter equality, let her know that involves stripping down certain privileges that she might see around her (guys picking your luggage, filing your taxes, helping you with programming assignments, etc.). At the end of the day, if you groom her to be fair and objective, equality in every practical aspect should naturally follow. Teach her to extend the concept to everyone – every race, every income group, every individual. 

Many women are insecure about their looks and resort to harmful dieting tactics, artificial implants/treatments. The source of this insecurity is the standards society has set as beautiful – spotless skin, lustrous hair, hour glass figure, a 34 cup size! I want to teach my daughters to be comfortable in their own skin even if they are not perceived as beautiful by others. I want to teach them to wear their best accessories –  smile and confidence.

Yes, it is an uphill task, but am sure of accomplishing this someday. 

Health and beauty can be separate. Wishing to lose those extra pounds does not necessarily stem from insecurity, but can simply be a healthy habit that will go a long way for her to have a comfortable lifestyle without being dependent on others.  I want to teach her to see people for who they are from their acts, not their appearances.

Finally i want to tell to my daughters that their body is only theirs and no one can make them feel uncomfortable or awkward. 

My daughters can make their own choices bearing in mind that each and every action has a consequence and they need to equally responsible for both. 

Nandini Mithun