Look Within

 What do you do when things are haywire and nothing is going as you wanted to.

Loving yourself is not confined to an occasional pat on the back. Nor is it an unwarranted ego trip. It is a continuous process of self-realization that requires consistency and conscious, devoted effort. The to-do strategy is however, rather simple. The trick is to not be deceived by the simplicity of the process and hang on to reap rich rewards. 

The art of loving yourself is not something that comes naturally to women.

At a spiritual level,( no no no i am not yet there, my little understanding from the books that i have read) the simplest solution to every problem is looking within. In this case, it would be looking within and liking it. Because when the external assault is at its worst, the only person that can see you through is you. Loving yourself in this case is much more than self-indulgence — it is your best coping strategy.

Appreciate yourself. Make it a conscious habit: Look in the mirror every day and remind yourself of what a great job you are doing of managing your life and that of your loved ones. If you are feeling low, remind yourself of all that you have achieved and that you have done it while juggling multiple roles. Self-appreciation is one of the simplest and the most underestimated strategies. Start appreciating yourself today and see it grow into a love that is holistically fulfilling.

Respect your efforts and let go of the guilt

Trying to cope with superhuman expectations on both personal and professional fronts is exhausting. To top it, most people — whether they are colleagues or family members – won’t think twice before complaining. The best way out is to manage our reactions. Accept that people will complain. Don’t take it personally. Give yourself a break because no one else will. Accept that mess happens. Manage it if you can, move on if you can’t. Don’t let the mess or complaints stick to you. Don’t harbour guilt. You can’t be absolutely perfect; what is important is that you are trying. Remind yourself this fact every single day and revel in the dignity of your roles. Always remember, if you can’t respect yourself for what you are and what you do, no one else will.

Humans make mistakes. You have to accept that despite your best efforts (or maybe less than best efforts at times, but hey, it is still okay), hiccups will happen. Things will go wrong. If you start taking everything personally, your life will be a bigger mess than those minor mistakes. It is understandably impossible to not feel bad and it is actually not advisable to bottle up your feelings in the name of control. What is important is really letting go and not just for appearance’s sake. Lock yourself in a bathroom and scream, if that helps, but let go as quickly as possible.

Ultimately the way the world perceives us is a reflection of our own perception of ourselves. That is why, self-confidence, a manifestation of self-love is one of most trusted ingredients of success. If we love ourselves the way we are, everyone else will come around to it, sooner or later. Even if they don’t, you will be able to cope because your sense of self will no more depend on the validation of others. Either way, you will find yourself in a much happier place — which is what ultimately matters.

All you have to do is to assert your identity with self-love and self-respect. That is the only key to lasting happiness and a satisfying existence

 

Nandini Mithun